Fear, Confidence and Stuff In Between

Fear, Confidence and Stuff In BetweenMy hubs and I worked on a relocation plan for over five years. I didn’t post too much about it because I really didn’t know if it would happen.

The truth is I was feeling pretty scared about taking the leap. Excited but scared.

We had many discussions about the kids, our family goals and the purpose of relocating. Why would anyone want to leave the Bay Area and move to Arizona? I think our move would have been financed if we were paid a dollar for every random comment about it being hot in Arizona. The more  comments I heard meant the more insecure I felt about what we truly wanted to do.

That’s what happens so often when we share our dreams and goals with the wrong people. They knock it down and make you second guess what you are doing. I started thinking about that fear, my confidence and all of that stuff that happens in between.

The fear of what could be often becomes the head game we play with ourselves. What do we really have to be afraid of when we are trying something new? Running away doesn’t help in the long run. It robs us of our dreams, goals and aspirations. You can lean into the fear, acknowledge it and let it teach you. We grow from the things that push us out of our comfort zone.

Sheryl Sandberg is more publicly know for the Lean In concept. Great book if you’d like to check out my book review.

So how does fear crush or build confidence?

Did you know that confidence refers to your belief in your abilities? We’re capable of doing anything we want to do. We have to believe in ourselves and trust. Taking one step and then another become those are the confidence builders that help us continue to move forward and grow.

Allow yourself to be you and the ones who love you for who you are will stick around. The others, well, they will fade away and that is OK.

Stuff in Between
It’s the stuff you do each day and the actions you take that becomes the in between. That’s the small action you take every single day to work toward your goal.  In our case, it was planning our relocation. Every obstacle became a challenge to overcome because nothing comes easily, especially when it’s a life-changing goal you’re trying to accomplish/

It’s the stuff in between that can reduce the fear and build the confidence. It’s the stuff in between that is action and momentum you build as you move forward.

Many times during our relocation I felt fear creep in and I wanted to turn back. I kept going because in my heart and gut I knew it was meant to be.

Keep taking action one step at a time. It will squash the fear and build your confidence. These tips will help you reset when you need a boost.

1) Come up for air and take a break. I go for a run. It clears my mind and inspires new ideas. Think of what you like to do that makes you feel inspired or reduces the stress, especially when you need a break. Allow yourself to come up for air.

2) Keep swimming. Just like Dori in Finding Nemo. Keep chipping away at the goal. One step at a time. A single action at a time. Just keep swimming.

3) We all start from our own beginning. Comparing yourself to others can get you motivated yet can also stop you in your tracks. Admiring and aspiring to what you’ve seen others accomplish is great. I try to remember those people had a starting point as well. And no matter how together they seem, they had fear and confidence issues to deal with, too. We all do.

It’s the marathon of learning, growing, developing in our lives. It’s not a sprint. The ride certainly isn’t perfect. Something always told me to  keep going, so I listened. I kept swimming, just like Dori.

How do you lean into fear?


Are you relocating soon and need some tips? Check out: 7 Tips for Relocating with Kids

2 thoughts on “Fear, Confidence and Stuff In Between

  1. Thank you! I love hearing about others on the entrepreneur journey. Someone mentioned to me “get comfortable with being uncomfortable.” Best way to grow and stretch. Glad you stopped by Vanity 🙂


  2. Its absolutely terrifying isnt it girl? I remember how it was and two years later i can tell u its still terrifying. But i keep my goals in sight and my main goal is on a post-it on my wall where i can see it as soon as i sit at my desk. I keeps me going in moments of doubt. Keeps my eye on the prize. This entrepreneur gig will always seem scary but your point is great: Own it!


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