Fear, Confidence and Stuff In Between

Fear, Confidence and Stuff In BetweenMy hubs and I worked on a relocation for a while. It was over five years actually.

I didn’t post too much about it because I really didn’t know if it would happen.

The truth is I was feeling pretty scared about the leap. Excited but scared.

We had many discussions about the kids, our family goals and the purpose of relocating. Why would anyone want to leave the Bay Area and move to Arizona?! I think our move would have been financed if were paid a dollar for each comment about it being hot there.

The more random comments I heard meant the more insecure I felt about what we truly wanted to do.

That is what happens so often when we share our dreams and goals with the wrong people. They knock it down and make you second guess what you are doing. I started thinking about that fear, my confidence and all of that stuff that happens in between.



I reference Pam Slim a lot because she has such sage business advice about leaning into fear. I have been following her work for some time now. I watched her speak at Spark & Hustle in 2012 and saw her again in 2014. She talked about fear and demonstrated how to leaning in instead of shying away. Embrace it because fear is a natural response. I like her Ignite talk about The Upside of Fear.

The fear of what could be often becomes the head game we play with ourselves. What do we really have to be afraid of when we are trying something new? Running away doesn’t help in the long run. It robs us of our dreams, goals and aspirations. You can lean into the fear, acknowledge it and let it teach you. We grow from the things that pushes us out of our comfort zones.

Sheryl Sandberg is more publicly know for the Lean In concept. Great book if you’d like to check out my book review.

So how does fear crush or build confidence?


Did you know that confidence refers to your belief in something and your trust in it? I had this picture above my desk before we moved and will hang it again, once I find the box it’s in! We’re capable of doing anything we want to do. We have to believe in ourselves and trust. Taking one step and then another become those confidence builders that help us continue to move forward.

At the end of the day, you gotta own it sister!

That’s right, OWN whatever you are doing. Whatever the goal. Believe it. Believe in you…


Allow yourself to be you and the ones who love you for who you are will stick around. The others, well, they will fade away. They belong with other people and that is OK.

Stuff in Between

It’s the stuff you do each day and the actions you take. Whether you are chipping away at a new biz, working to drop a few pounds or learning a new skill. In my case it was our relocation. Each action is a step in the direction of the goal.

It’s the stuff in between everything else that won’t get accomplished if fear or lack of confidence take over. It’s paralyzing. I’ve been there.

Many times during our relocation I felt fear creep in and I wanted to turn back. I kept going because in my heart and gut I knew it was meant to be.

Keep taking action steps every day. It will squash the fear and build your confidence.

Need a few tips? Try these…

1) Come up for air and take a break. I go for a run. It clears my mind and inspires new ideas. Think of what you like to do that makes you feel good, especially when you need a break. Allow yourself to come up for air.

2) Keep swimming. Just like Dori in Finding Nemo. Keep chipping away at the goal. One step at a time. A single action at a time. Just keep swimming.

3) We all started from our own beginning. Comparing yourself to others can get you motivated yet can also stop you in your tracks. Admiring and aspiring to what you’ve seen others accomplish is great. I try to remember those people had a starting point as well. And no matter how together they seem, they had fear and confidence issues to deal with, too. We all do.

It’s the marathon of learning, growing, developing in our lives. It’s not a sprint to success (whatever you define success to be).

The ride certainly isn’t perfect. I thought about throwing in the towel several times.

Something always told me to  keep going, so I listened. I kept swimming, just like Dori.

How do you lean into fear?


Are you relocating soon and need some tips? Check out: 7 Tips for Relocating with Kids

2 thoughts on “Fear, Confidence and Stuff In Between

  1. Stephanie says:

    Thank you! I love hearing about others on the entrepreneur journey. Someone mentioned to me “get comfortable with being uncomfortable.” Best way to grow and stretch. Glad you stopped by Vanity 🙂


  2. vanita says:

    Its absolutely terrifying isnt it girl? I remember how it was and two years later i can tell u its still terrifying. But i keep my goals in sight and my main goal is on a post-it on my wall where i can see it as soon as i sit at my desk. I keeps me going in moments of doubt. Keeps my eye on the prize. This entrepreneur gig will always seem scary but your point is great: Own it!


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